


Shades of Envy

by Mister_Spock



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Hurt!Spock, Missing Scene, Star Trek: Into Darkness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-20
Updated: 2017-02-20
Packaged: 2018-09-25 21:00:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9844052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mister_Spock/pseuds/Mister_Spock
Summary: McCoy might just have saved Jim's life but now he has Spock to deal with and the pair are far from friends.Will the pair continue to misunderstand one another or can they get past the first hurdle and form some sort of friendship?Complete.





	

**Author's Note:**

> It always bugs me that McCoy tells Jim that Spock would have let him die if Jim had been in the volcano.  
> Considering that is the opinion McCoy has of Spock in STID, I felt the need to address it.

“What are you doing here?” he says.  
His tone is harsher than he means for it to be, but he's exhausted.  
He just sent hours working on Jim, trying to save his life- no, give him back life. The last thing he expected was for Spock to be waiting in his office. 

“The Captain?” Spock asks. He seems distracted. 

“I don't know. He's alive but it's not all plain sailing.” McCoy says, heading over to his desk he pulls out a bottle and a glass. “Don't get your hopes up. The Captain's chair isn't yours yet.” It's a low blow, he knows that, but it's how he feels. 

Spock looks up sharply and for a second, McCoy thinks he's going to say something. And then he turns and leaves without another word.  
McCoy sits heavily in the chair and downs the whisky. It burns all the way down his throat and it reminds him he's alive. 

~

“It's nice of you to come by, Scotty.”

“Well, none of us were sure when would be a good time. We're all thinking about him.”

“I'll keep you posted. He'll be grateful of the support when he's back with us.” 

“That's if we can get a chance to see him. The Commander likely won't leave his side.”

“Yeah? He'll have to show up first.” McCoy said. 

Scotty went to reply, then stopped himself. Considered his words. “I don't want you to take this as anything more than a comment from a friend and with all due respect to you....” he hesitated again. 

“Go on, say it.” McCoy said. 

“I heard you on the bridge when we were at the volcano trying to work out how to save Spock, you think he'd have left Jim there to die.” The look McCoy gave him told him to get to the point. “I think that maybe he doesn't want you to see that side of him, Doctor, but it is there. He does care about Jim.”

“I have trouble believing things I don't see,”

“All I know is that what I saw was pretty unmistakable.”

~

He thinks about Scotty words later that night. 

He'd been dismissive and uninterested at the time, but then with time alone, he thought about it a little more. Jim wasn't that much of a fool that he'd keep trying with Spock if he got nothing back. He remembered several conversations where Jim would recall a time when Spock would verge on doing something quite human and then claw it back, hide back behind the Vulcan mask.  
And maybe that was it. Spock was so used to being behind that mask that he felt vulnerable without it, even if parts of him wanted to let his human side out, it just wasn't natural for him. 

~ 

There's a briefing the next day. 

They crew are commended for their actions and an update is given to everyone on Jim's condition, an update which Bones gave to the Admiral himself.  
Spock is stood to one side of the podium, head down, largely uninterested. He's up there as highest ranking officer, to give the crew that familiarity. When the Admiral mentions Jim, Spock is suddenly interested and McCoy can tell he's taking in every word, digesting it all. Briefly, Spock looks into the crowd, finds McCoy immediately and he casts his look away again.  
And McCoy feels it then- he kicked the damn puppy. He sighs, annoyed with himself and then see's Uhura shooting daggers his way.  
Great, he thinks. 

~

As expected, Uhura demands a word with him. 

He half expects her to throw things at him, but he remembers she's a dignified woman- nothing like his ex wife. She simply asks him what happened.  
So he tells her. She listens without judgement and doesn't interrupt him. Tells her that he doesn't think Spock is worth all the effort Jim puts in to win him over as a friend. That he'll always put rules before friends. Says he doesn't think Spock has got a drop of warm blood in his body. And then he tells her what she actually wants to know- what he said to Spock two days ago. Because if he knows anything, it's how relationships work and Uhura will have noticed something's up with Spock and she's tracking down what that issue is.  
And now she knows. 

He expects her to shout, or to tell him how wrong he is, but she doesn't say anything.  
But he can see it in her eyes.  
She's hurt. Because she loves Spock.  
And what he said was hurtful and probably not even true. But she doesn't tell him that.  
Her eyes go glossy and he thinks she's going to cry, but she nods and leaves him.  
And he feels awful because it wasn't supposed to go like that.

~

He gets a message while he's looking over Jim for some assistance. 

He isn't really of duty, but he won't let Jim's case be handled by anyone else, but if they're asking for his help, he's not going to turn away someone who needs his help. 

He heads down to the room in question. “Doctor Francis, you needed some assistance?” he says as he steps into the room. 

The doctor “Doctor McCoy so glad you could assist.”

“Spock?” McCoy says, surprised to see the Vulcan is the patient he's come to help with. 

“Oh, you know one another. That's not going to be a problem, is it?”

“Yes,” Spock says at the same time McCoy says 'No'. 

Francis raises his eyebrows and looks between the pair. “I erm... I shouldn't have you treat a patient who isn't comfortable with your treatment.” he says. 

“We just, need to clear the air first. If we can have a moment.”

Francis looks to Spock unsure. “That is acceptable, Doctor.” Spock tells him and he steps outside the room. 

“What's wrong with you? Why are you here?” McCoy asks. 

“If I knew what was wrong, I would not be here.” Spock says. 

“Yeah, human Doctors, huh? Scrapping the barrel.”

“I am half human, Doctor.”

“Right.” McCoy says. 

Spock looks down at the floor. McCoy's inner voice kicks in and tells him that of course he's seeing a human doctor- most of the Vulcan doctors are dead. “Look, about the other day when you were in my office-”

“The Doctor is not familiar with hybrids. All he needs is some assistance. An explanation of anything else is not needed.”

“You were the one who said it was going to be a problem.”

“I assumed you would feel the same.”

McCoy huffed loudly. “Your cold as ice, you know that?”

“A necessity when living on Vulcan,” Spock replies, but his voice sounds hollow, broken and he's just staring at something ahead of him. 

~

He doesn't expect what he finds with Spock. 

Bleeding on the brain due to trauma. Turns out that Khan had crushed his skull with his bare hands. Doctor Francis asks him why he didn't report the injury sooner and Spock just said there were more important things to deal with. 

McCoy suggests they see if the blood is able to drain away but if not, they'll have to release the pressure themselves. He tells Spock to have bed rest.  
When he leaves the room for a couple of minutes, Spock has already gone. 

He goes to visit Jim while he's there. He thinks Spock will be there, but he isn't. He sends a message to Uhura telling her that her boyfriends an idiot and to call him if he turns up. It's not exactly professional but he's pretty sure that's what she expects from him by now. 

Jim still looks more dead than alive.  
He thinks how mad he'll be with the pair of them for being so petty. He did try and make things up to Spock. He could have tried harder, he knows that.  
Dammit. 

~

He finds Spock outside the medical facility. 

He's sat looking out at the view of the Admiral Marcus destroyed craft stuck in the middle of the city.  
McCoy sits next to him and doesn't say anything for a long time. Eventually he asks what Spock's doing out there. 

“I am thinking of what would be most effective way of stopping space crafts crashing into the planet and killing hundreds of people.”

“Oh yeah? You got anything yet?”

“Nothing viable.”

“That's 'cause your brains not working properly. It's smooshed up in there.”

“My brain is not 'smooshed'” Spock says. 

“I got it wrong. I got you wrong. Truth is- I get a little jealous.”

“Jealous?”

“Jim was the first person I clicked with after my divorce. And he hated you. You know, really hated you to start with. But even when he hated you, he was obsessed with you. And then he didn't hate you any more and you were still all he talked about. He idolised you and looked up to you and wanted you to like him. And you're just so.... indifferent to it all.”

“Jim is the first person to call me a friend.”

Dammit. He kicked the puppy again. 

“I do not know the appropriate responses. I-” he stops. “I feel that I am lacking the ability to retain a human friendship.”

“I guess Vulcan friendships are different, huh.” 

“I did not have Vulcan friends either. My Father-” he stops himself. 

McCoy's tone softens. “Your Father was your only friend?”

Spock doesn't say anything to that. “I did not miss it. I never had it, so I could not. But when I went to the Academy I saw a difference. I had only really been around Vulcan's before, my Mother not included. Humans are all so different. I do not understand why you are so... varied.”

McCoy can't help but smirk at that. “So Uhura became your first human friend?” 

“She was the first person to show any interest in me besides from the medical personnel.”

McCoy can see the exact second Spock realises he shouldn't have said those words. Spock seems to accept his fate as McCoy follows it up. “What did they want exactly?”

“I was the first Vulcan human hybrid to survive. What do you suppose they wanted, Doctor?”

“How long did that go on for?”

“Long enough.”

“You're a real help. Look, I wanted to say, I didn't mean what I said... about you being after Jim's chair. That was a stupid thing to say. I'm sorry.”

“It is also inaccurate. I have no desire to command a vessel.”

“Why don't you come back in with me. Pay Jim a visit. Besides, I'd rather not have you out and about with your head all messed up.”

“My head is fine.” 

“Whatever. Let's just get inside.” 

“Very well.”


End file.
